The Phantom Thieves Slowly Lose It
by WritingSoul
Summary: Akira and the phantom thieves are rather outdated on their slang knowledge...enough so that Akira may have lost his mind... ...oops. Crack!fic (Everyone is mega ooc) (and derp) (mentions of ships) Various Lengths.


Lit. Lit. Lit. That was the new slang, it had been the only word Akira had heard come out of everyone's mouth all day.

Akira was a smart boy. He was top of his class. He was street smart, he had a lot of friends - and a girlfriend. Akira was a strong boy. Akira was a kind boy.

But currently, the leader of the phantom thieves was losing his shit trying to find out what the word 'lit' meant as used by his classmates.

And he couldn't. Akira, being the smart boy he his, looked it up in a dictionary. Nothing. Okay.

Unless the throng of students at Shujin Academy wanted to set fire to every fucking person in 5 miles of them, he had gotten nowhere.

It was fine. He was okay. Really, it was fine.

* * *

Despite constant reassurance that Akira was alright, Morgana was starting to doubt it. He would often come home from strolling around the neighborhood to find Akira gnawing on a pencil and whispering " _what the_ fuck _does lit mean?"_ Maybe Akira was starting to lose it.

Perhaps not. The bags under his eyes said otherwise.

This was why, at 10 a.m, Morgana was asking Akira to hold a meeting with the other phantom thieves, because surely, they would know what it meant, right?

Right?

…..Right?

* * *

"So, why'd you call?" Ryuji asked, leaning against the booth in Leblanc. Akira sighed and put his head in his hands, clearly troubled. "Just...go upstairs." Came the muffled reply.

"O….kay?"

The first thing Ryuji Sakamoto noted about his closest friend's room was that it was more….decorated than it had been previously. By that, he meant the multitude of papers taped on Akira's walls, all having something to do with the word "lit". Akira himself came up last, and collapsed to his knees as they turned to him.

"What does lit mean?" He asked, now close to tears. Wait, were those genuine?

Everyone went pale. "I don't…..know…" Makoto said.

He sat back against his dresser, face white, and zoned out. His lips were parted in a silent wail.

Stars….in space….fireballs jumping from the lava….stars in the galaxy.

He was traveling...traveling!

Ryuji waved his hand in front of Akira's face. "Hey, what's he on….?"

When he looked back, everyone else was already on the floor, in that same position.

As if on cue, they all groaned in sync, low throaty groans.

"What the actual fuck?"

Ryuji was a strong child. He was a brave boy.

Ryuji Sakamoto however, was not prepared for this shit.

And thus, Ryuji Sakamoto passed out on the floor.

* * *

When Futaba rushed up to the attic later that day, she found all of her fellow phantom thieves on the floor, passed out (Ryuji), or leaning back against the wall, deep throaty groans escaping them. She knelt down next to their leader. "Akira, what's wrong?"

Akira snapped out of his immobile and groaning state, grabbing her shoulder and looking at her as if she were the second coming of christ.

"Please, Futaba, you need to tell me what 'lit' means!"

She blinked. Once. Twice. "I dunno."

Akira slumped back. "Noooo…!"

Futaba pulled out her phone. "Uh, have ya tried google?" And there were the rest of them, hoisting her up and praising her as if she were some sort of goddess.

Akira pulled out his phone, looking at a website. "Here it is! It's on this site called Slanguide...uh let's see here…."

No one else was listening even remotely, but he still read the definition aloud.

"Lit is most commonly used to describe someone or something as amazing or awesome.

It is frequently used in relation to parties and other events, meaning they are on fire and full of energy. Lit parties or events are wild, exciting and great fun. You can also use lit to describe the excitement or hype about an upcoming event."  
"Huh." He said. Now that this whole thing was over, he was tired. He went over to his mattress and flopped down on it, falling asleep.  
Everything was fine.  
Or, at least it would be until he had gotten a call from a hysteric Ryuji at two in the morning the following week.


End file.
